Firsts with the fourth

I've had 4 babies,  5 pregnancies,  5 c-sections.  That's pretty experienced.  Every pregnancy and every baby is different, but there have been some absolutes among them.  I'm going to be sick, anti-nausea medication is not going to help.  I'm going to have heartburn that burns my entire torso, tums won't help.  The baby will not come early, s/he won't even try to be on time. There will be a c-section, and recovery will be smooth.  

Here's what I just found out... and can't believe I was 4 babies in when learning it.

Buy the washable breast pads.  I know that no mama ever needs one more piece of fabric to wash.  That has been the driving force behind me always using disposable pads.  But, these are soooo worth the effort.  I never knew.   A close friend has been making face masks and had leftover fabric, she sewed a couple of pairs for me.  They were quickly renamed "boobie pillows".  Holy cannoli.  Heaven.  They are heaven, and I cannot believe I've nursed babies for 6 years without them.  Sorry, boobies.

Get at least one pair of compression leggings.  I've had 4 c-sections, and honestly couldn't imagine putting pressure on my incision would be comfortable.  I knew nothing.  After reading several testimonials, I bought a pair.  My husband had to help me into them a week after delivery.  A friend came to our house to do a newborn session and I wanted to wear them.  I almost chickened out when they were halfway up.  Soooo glad I didn't.  I could literally hop up from my recliner.  I was able to twist and turn during the photo session,  my friend even commented on my mobility.   Best. Buy. Ever.   Again,  can't believe I went so long without using a pair.

Adult diapers.   Who knew??  While the mesh undies and boat pad combo given at the hospital isn't super dignifying, adult diapers just sounded horrible.  They aren't.  They work, are more comfortable, won't leak, and you just throw them away.  Perfect.  There was a time that I was changing diapers for a newborn, toddler, and myself.  A diaper assembly line.  And, I still recommend them 100%.  I also recommend potty training the toddler BEFORE baby comes...

Also, sugar waxing.   Getting this done at 37 weeks means no worries until the other side of postpartum.  Completely beats trying to shave right before delivery.   Or worse, let the preop nurses come at you with those horrible clippers.  

What pregnancy/postpartum firsts have you learned multiple babies later??

The important things.

We all love a sirsee, but this child holds special memories to them.  A sirsee, for those who may not know, is a small surprise.  An inexpensive trinket that you didn't expect.  When my mom was local and I would swing by her house, she'd sometimes have a super cute pair of socks or a dish towel for me...a sirsee.  For kids, its maybe that impulse buy when checking out at Target or a small toy at the Dollar Tree.  When I'm out and happen to see something that I think my kids would love, I pick it up for them.  

This is my 5 year old wild child with a soft heart.  He cannot remember where he put his coat 3 minutes after taking it off, or to use an inside voice, or that he isn't allowed to run in the house.  But, he'll bring me a sirsee from 2 years ago and tell me about how he remembers that Daddy gave it to him that time he got a kids meal and went to that park with the big swing.   Or, that time Mommy had to get new tires and he got a small toy and a bag of chips... that time his ears didn't feel good and we went to the doctor and stopped at DT for a little toy... that time Mommy and Daddy came back with a small surprise after he stayed with a sitter. 

He remembers each one.  The next time I'm frustrated that he doesn't remember where he left his right boot, his polar bear face mask, or that we don't bounce balls close to the TV; I'll remember that he does remember the important things.  That he'll remember how much and often we think about him among the chaos of life.

It's okay to mourn the small things.

There's nothing like Facebook Memories to remind you what you used to have.  I know there have been losses much greater than birthday parties since COVID started, but this is what I mourn today.  Pre-COVID birthday parties.  The picture shows my oldest at her 6th birthday party.  Her birthday is in January and we booked an indoor pool.  For a bonus for her (and mommy), we had a mommy and me pedicure date with some friends and their daughters the night before.  Aaahhhhh...nail salons.  Lots of people, sitting right next to each other,  talking without masks.  Who knew that would become so precious.

This memory pops up on the heels of us making the decision to cancel this little girl's birthday party this year.  Her first ever slumber party.  That's a big deal to an 8 year old.  The COVID numbers are rising again, the hospitals are full, the news is scary.  So, we do the responsible thing and cancel.  She'll still have one friend sleepover, have pancakes with candles, and get presents.  We still plan to take her to American Girl as planned.  But, it's still different.

It's okay to mourn the small things.

Loss

Me and my grandpa...missing him today :(  Christmas will definitely not be the same this year.

What's up with the hubz?

Ok, so the hubby acted a little strange on our recent visit to Myrtle Beach...

The trip starts out like all the other ones...the hubby gets a little obsessed with GETTING to the destination.  When we were dating, he'd make us leave for Carowinds at 6am, arriving at 8am, waiting at the locked gate until the park opened at 10:30am...he's always been like that.

So, of course, we're getting ready to head out way before we need to.  By the time we get to the hotel, of course, we can't check in because, of course, we're there 12 hours early...

We went to the aquarium because it's one of the only things that we haven't done in Myrtle Beach...everything's normal until we go into the gift shop.....

There's an unbelievable cute shirt...a little spin on duck duck goose...

Unfortunately, the biggest size was 18 mos and I couldn't squeeze into it...but Paul suggests we get it anyways.

Actually, not suggests, picks it up and takes it to the register...

This is the guy that had a mini-fit at Boots, Bridles, and Britches when I wanted to buy the cutest little pair of cowboy boots for our 'one-day baby'...

A light breeze could've knocked me over...I'm in total shock...of course, the hubby acts like it's business as usual and brushes it off.

LATER THAT SAME TRIP...

We went shopping at Barefoot Landing, not unusual.

The T.I.G.E.R. people with the cute tiger cubs aren't there, not unusual.

We walk right by the Christmas Mouse (a store completely devoted to year-round Christmas), not unusual.

Paul asks if I want to go into the Christmas store, COMPLETELY unusual.

Not only does he actively look and shop with me, he actually gives input and even picks out several ornaments all on his own...

What is the deal????

Not that I'm minding the changes, I'm kinda excited about it...it's just freaking me out a little :-/

This is getting ridiculous...

My husband likes his job, so I don't say a lot of what I want...and when I do say something I drop it quickly.  But you gotta admire the audacity of some people...

When he first started there, he was placed in a rotation with 2 other guys to work the store front of the business on Saturdays.  Before long, Paul was getting called in on most Saturdays because of all the activities the other guys were doing with their kids.  I swear, there was a period of about a month that both of them were making crap at Lowe's with their kids every Saturday...EVERY Saturday...

Now, our Saturdays off were mostly spent on the couch in pajamas watching movies...but that was OUR Saturday.

Finally, the charade is over, Paul is asked to take over Saturdays...all Saturdays.  At that point, it really wasn't a big change in his schedule...he'd been working the other guys' shifts anyways.

But...the priorities were set...

The insinuation that our weekend of lounging on the couch is not as important as their weekend of making ugly birdhouses that would never be used at Lowe's with their mini-me.  THEY decided that.  Who do they think they are?? And, it was very obvious... this blatant discrimination...

But, whatever...it doesn't bother Paul so I try to not let it bother me.  He gets most Fridays off, which works with my schedule.  I was way more peeved at the fact that they decided amongst themselves what our priorities were than the actual change in schedule.

Paul works long and hard hours...lots of times going after hours and the non-working part of his weekend to make sure the businesses he is responsible for iare up and running.  You'd think that would count for something??

This time, they crossed a line...they messed with my vacation...

Paul put in his request for time off in the middle of July for a trip at the beginning of September...the request was approved. We plan our trip...

Yesterday...August 22...Paul was told that he would need to be on call on the weekend of Labor Day (our weekend off).  Paul reminds him that we are leaving for a trip...apparently that is a non-issue since it is a free trip, Paul just won't go...

WHAT???????

First of all, it is a marriage retreat provided for by the Augusta VA.  NOTHING a combat veteran gets from the VA is free.  Just the fact that it can be trivialized like that saddens me for my husband.  How disrespectful can you be??

Second of all, the days were approved over a month ago.  This should have been planned for.  When scheduling important installations, it should have been taken into consideration that the POS guy would be outta town so they might not should plan an installation that weekend.  That, instead, the installation was planned on the fact that they'll just tell the POS guy that he can't have off and deal with it is, again, completely disrespectful and horrifically unprofessional.

Third of all, the manager-man is supposed to be a quasi-intelligent man and a semi-friend to my husband.  Paul asks him if he can just provide phone support for the weekend and manager-man can go onsite if needed.  Paul will be available for questions and troubleshooting by phone.  The resort has wi-fi, I have wi-fi calling capability, we would definitely be reachable.  The manager-man states that Paul can make his own decision, but insinuates hefty punishment for disobedience.  This whole conversation is, again, disrespectful and unprofessional. It also makes manager-man look like a lazy tyrant who counts his own time as way more important than Paul's...get over yourself, manager -man.

Fourth of all, AND most importantly, who are you to decide that our vacation is not important??  Who gave you the authority to decide that the Saturday at work is more important than the retreat??  Paul asked and received the days off, it is irrelevant what he chooses to do with those days off.  How do you get to say what is and is not appropriate to do with those days??  What kind of person feels like they have the authority to make those decisions for other people??  At my worst job, I was never treated so minuscule.

This is ridiculous...

The Bark Park

Last Friday, me and the hubz took the boys to the vet...it wasn't really a great experience...kinda * traumatizing *...

Anyways, we ended up having Zeus with us and having to leave Zax at the vet.  I figured this would be a great time to try out the Bark Park at Pendleton King.  I'd read about it, but hadn't taken the boys there.  Zax is a jumper and a runner.  We've done professional training with him, but it didn't help.  He was basically an adult when we got him, and we've had a difficult time undoing his life before us.  So, I'm very nervous about taking him to a dog park...the whole 'off-leash' thing doesn't sit well.

Zeus, however, has been with us since he was 6 weeks old...and it pretty trustworthy.  Zeus had already been through a lot at the vet, and he was visibly concerned that we left Zax there :(

When we got to the park, we were the only ones there.  We tried to get Zeus to play...ran around, threw a ball...but he just wanted to stay right next to one of us.  When another dog showed up, Zeus went to greet the owners, but wouldn't play with the dog...even though the other dog was pretty persistent.  And we couldn't get Zeus to drink from the faucet, even though he was obviously thirsty.  At one point, Zeus came up to where we were sitting and just laid in the dirt...he was ready to go.

I tried taking him back to the Bark Park by myself two days later.  He was excited when he realized where we were going.  When we got there, there were 4 or 5 other families with dogs there.  When I got closer, I saw that there was a jack russel mix and a papillion mix in the park...there is a separate side for dogs under 30lbs...but they were in with the big dogs.  I was walking a 129lbs dog into the fence...and the jack russell was ready to walk right underneath him.  I'm never worried about Zeus intentionally hurting a smaller animal or biting at it...I'm scared to death that he will get excited and trample it...kinda like a horse. 

But, he was fine.  He played and ran and got lots of lovins and treats from the other people in the park.  I noticed that all the dogs had to be coaxed to drink from the faucet... 

He helped a dog dig a hole...and then pushed the dog out of the way so he could lay in it :)

Yay for the Bark Park!!!

I'm still not sure about taking Zax...I know he would have snipped at the smaller dogs...but they weren't supposed to be in there anyway...